20 Jokes for Nurses
Every year in May, we celebrate National Nursing Week, a time to honor and recognize the unwavering commitment, compassion, and dedication of nurses in our healthcare system. Their tireless efforts to provide care to those in need are the backbone of our medical institutions, often going unnoticed or unrecognized. This week, we take a moment to spotlight the remarkable work of these healthcare heroes and share some laughter along the way. After all, you know what they say, humor is often the best medicine. So, here are 20 original jokes for nurses that highlight the lighter side of this demanding profession. Enjoy!
1. Three nurses walk into a bar and grab a seat. The server says, “What a coincidence, my last table was three doctors.”
“We know,” said a nurse. “We’re here to clean up the mess.”
2. A nurse is looking for jobs and finds one with great pay but it's in a third world country. She asks her partner if she should take it and they say, “Sure why not. Right now you’re getting paid like we live there already.”
3. What do nurses play when they’re bored on a night shift? Rock, Paper, Scalpel.
4. Before the vaccines were released two nurses were arguing about which was the better treatment for Covid, Advil or Tylenol. A doctor walked by and said, "How about this? You give your patient the Advil, and you give your patient the Tylenol, and we'll see who gets better faster!"
“But, doctor,” said the nurse, “If we give both our patients drugs, then who gets the placebo? We need a control group if it’s going to be a proper test.”
The doctor thought about this a moment and said, “Give the placebo to whoever pushes their call button the most.”
5. Why did the nurse show up to operating room wearing a barbarian costume? They were doing an invasive surgery.
6. Why did the nurse throw the patient out the window? She knew he’d be okay because he was a frequent flyer.
7. What did the nurse call when a famous jazz musician went into cardiac arrest? “Code Blues!”
8. Why do robots make good nurses? They don’t mind telling family members that they’re stupid.
9. Why did the nurse give the man a sugar pill instead of a pain killer? He was a politician.
10.Why are scrubs so expensive? Because they double as pyjamas.
11.Why do nurses carry so many pens? Because sometimes patients get annoying and there’s nothing else around to stab them with.
12.A nurse practitioner is flying to Hawaii when someone on the plane has a heart attack. A flight attendant yells out, "Is anyone on the plane a doctor?"
The nurse says, “Well I can do most of the same stuff. I’m a nurse practitioner. We basically went to school for the same amount of time. I just didn’t do a residency.”
“Well then what’s the difference?” said the flight attendant.
“Our handwriting is better, and we get paid half as much.”
13. A nurse walks into a casino and puts some money into the slot machine. She wins a $2 million dollar jackpot and says, “Wow I can finally pay off my student loans.”
14. A nurse is sleeping during her night shift break when there's a massive explosion somewhere in the hospital. She wakes up and turns to another nurse who was also sleeping. “What happened?”
The second nurse is on her phone looking for information.
“Was it the cafeteria or the lounge?”
“No,” said the second nurse.
“WAS IT THE VENDING MACHINES?”
“No, it looks like it was just one of the operating rooms,” said the second nurse.
“Oh, thank god,” said the first nurse.
And they both went back to sleep.
15.A nurse goes to a career day at a high school on Halloween. A boy dressed like the Grim Reaper tells her he wants to be a nurse one day. “Great,” she says. “You already look like death so you’ll fit right in.”
16. A nurse took her kid to work one day because she couldn't find a babysitter. After a few hours, the kid looks up and says, "So when do we get to the part where we get to play 'pin the Band-Aid on the patient'?"
17.A nurse and a doctor get stuck in an elevator together. It's going to take three hours to fix it and they're both starving. The nurse turns to the doctor and says, “I don’t know what’s more annoying, the sound of your stomach growling, or your pager.”
18.What's the difference between a nurse and a hippopotamus ? The nurse is more dangerous when she’s tired.
19.Why do nurses have the most fun at parties? Because they're always ready to resuscitate the dance floor!
20. Why did the nurse quit his job to become a park ranger? Because it paid more, and he had a lot of experience dealing with wild animals.
