300 Dating Red Flags
Use this list to see how many red flags your partner has.
Less than ten? Don’t worry about it.
More than ten?
Run for the hills.
(While this article uses the pronouns he/him these red flags can be applied to anybody regardless of gender. Also, this article is written somewhat tongue-in-cheek. Don’t treat this as serious relationship advice.)
Okay, here’s the big list of red flags.
1. He’s constantly negging you. His need to feel superior is derived from the fact that deep down inside, he kinda sucks.
2. He gives you backhanded compliments. “You make such an ugly dress look great!”
3. He leaves passive aggressive sticky notes around the house instead of talking to you.
4. He doesn’t like when you say no to things in the bedroom. Consent is always important and can be revoked at any time.
5. He wants to be “officially dating” right away. What’s the rush? Plenty of time to see other people.
6. Your friends don’t like him. If you trust your friends, don’t stop now.
7. He wears jorts (jean shorts.) What sane human makes this decision?
8. He has bad breath. If he doesn’t care about taking care of himself, he won’t take care of you, or your kids.
9. He has lots of female friends. This one can go either way, mainly depending on if he’d sleep with them if he were single.
10. He doesn’t like your friends. If he tries to get between you and your friends, he doesn’t respect your true happiness.
11. He doesn’t think you’re smart. If you make a valid point and he dismisses it, he’s a self-centered jerk.
12. He’s sexist. Thinks women’s sports aren’t worth watching? Ask Serena.
13. He talks trash behind your back. If he talks poorly about you, those are his actual feelings.
14. He talks over you. If he doesn’t respect your opinion, let him go.
15. He thinks it’s okay to still talk to his exes. If they’re in the past, act like it.
16. He gets mad when you tell him to stop talking to girls. If he tells you you’re crazy, he’s toxic.
17. He calls all his exes crazy. Chances are he made them that way.
18. He calls you rude names when you’re fighting. The heat of the moment doesn’t mean calling someone a nasty name.
19. He reads your texts. If he doesn’t trust you at the start it’ll only get worse.
20. He doesn’t strive to make his life better. You don’t want to be with someone who has no ambition.
21. He doesn’t try to stay active. He doesn’t have to be Michael B. Jordan, but he needs to value his health.
22. He’s rude to his parents for no reason. If you have to convince him to be kind, there’s a problem.
23. He has a bad temper. You don’t want to be walking on eggshells.
24. He likes to go out with just the boys all the time. What’s he doing that you can’t come occasionally?
25. He tells white lies. He told you his favorite artist is Kanye when it’s Taylor? Be honest.
26. He cheats on you. This may seem like an obvious one, but if he cheats on you, he doesn’t love you.
27. He cheated on his girlfriend with you. He may stay loyal, but it’s less likely than people who never cheat.
28. He always needs to know where you are. There’s no reason he needs to know where you are 100% of the time.
29. He yells at you. If he’s ready to get emotionally aggressive, physical is the next step.
30. He makes you think differently about yourself. If he shames you for your past, he’s not the one.
31. He tells you to take down your cute social media pictures.
32. He gets in physical fights with people. If he must resort to violence, he has a bigger temper than a brain.
33. He makes you send him a photo that you’re home safe. Why doesn’t he just believe a text?
34. He tells you not to go out as much. He doesn’t like when you do things without him there.
35. He tells you not to drink a lot, but still drinks with his friends. Hypocrites are the worst.
36. He texts your friends to talk poorly about you. Does he not know they would tell you?
37. He thinks you should stay at home and take care of the kids. Your career is important too.
38. He wants you to follow him to another city him, but you have a job and family and don’t want to move.
39. He hates hanging out with your family. If you like it, he should get in good spirits as well.
40. He asks you to make big decisions when you’re vulnerable. Don’t ask to get back together at a funeral.
41. He makes you choose between dressing provocatively and being a respected woman. You can do both.
42. He wears Balenciaga shoes to the club. Player for sure.
43. He gets bottles with all his friends every weekend at the club. They are there to get girls.
44. He gets back together with you quickly after breaking up. He just wants what he can’t have.
45. He makes you feel bad about gaining weight. You don’t like it either, so he doesn’t have to be rude.
46. He thinks you eat too much. I’d choose pizza over him any day.
47. He thinks you shop too much. He doesn’t get to decide where you spend your money.
48. He makes you question your memories. If he’s saying you said something you didn’t, he’s gaslighting.
49. He won’t post pictures with you online. He may not want other girls to see them.
50. He makes fun of you when you mess up in a sport. He should be cheering you on.
51. He won’t tell his friends about you. That means he doesn’t think you’re serious.
52. He doesn’t want to meet your friends. Because he sucks.
53. You’ve never met any of his friends. Does he even have any?
54. He always needs reassurance. That can become draining and toxic.
55. He flirts with other girls at bars in front of you. If he’s too touchy, it’ll be a problem long-term.
56. He hates when you’re friends with other guys, even if he’s friends with other girls. Hypocrite.
57. He won’t talk to you about important issues. His family, how he grew up, personal feelings etc.
58. He’ll never admit if he’s wrong. This is just a generally human quality.
59. He wants to track you through your phone. If he asks for your Find My Friends, he’s too controlling.
60. He isn’t there for you when you need him. If he doesn’t show up on your worst day, he doesn’t deserve you at your best.
61. He enjoys fighting. He shouldn’t want to argue with someone he loves.
62. He does things just to annoy you. Looking to pick a fight is not someone you should be with.
63. He won’t tell you about past relationships. If he can’t be honest about the past, he won’t be honest in the present.
64. He forgets your birthday. He should’ve been planning it for a week.
65. He makes you feel overly grateful to be with him, instead of him feeling lucky to be with you.
66. He goes out without telling you, then you see him out.
67. He doesn’t have any social media. Who wants to be so in the dark?
68. What he considers cheating isn’t what you consider cheating. Is flirting cheating?
69. He only comes to your place, but you never go to his. What is he hiding?
70. He keeps his social life separate from you. He should want you to come hang-out with his friends.
71. He tries to get you to have a threesome. You’re enough.
72. He still lives with his parents. A man child is not ready to commit.
73. You don’t like how you act when you’re with him. He should bring out the best in you.
74. He gives you ultimatums instead of a real conversation. Just talk about it.
75. You get messages from strangers that he’s slept with them. There’s always a bit of truth.
76. He makes you feel like an afterthought. He’ll only want to hang if his friends cancel.
77. He doesn’t greet you in a friendly manner. He should be excited to see you.
78. When you make a mistake he says it’s a personality trait. Forgetting one thing doesn’t make you a forgetful person.
79. He mocks you. If he makes fun of things you say he doesn’t respect you.
80. He gets defensive when you try to talk to him. Even if it’s harmless.
81. He won’t bother responding when you try to talk to him. He just acts like you’re not speaking.
82. He turns his phone off when you’re trying to get in contact with him. Why aren’t your texts going through?
83. He won’t try to find you on nights out. If you can’t find him in the club, he’s not finding you on purpose.
84. He blames his bad habits on you. If he forgets something, it’s because you didn’t remind him.
85. He blames his bad behavior on being drunk. He’s still accountable!
86. He won’t stop partying. If you’re over thirty, then one night at the club is enough each week.
87. He complains about situations out of his control. There’s no point still obsessing over last night’s dilemma.
88. He’s too involved in politics where it affects his day. You can still be positive when the world is crumbling.
89. He uses sarcasm instead of directly addressing a problem. Sarcasm is funny, but not if it’s always coming at your expense. Grow up, Todd.
90. He acts like you could do no wrong. If he only sees you as perfect and not human, there’s too much pressure.
91. He complains he can’t do anything right if he does one thing wrong. He sarcastically over-compensates.
92. He doesn’t believe you when you tell him the truth. If he doesn’t trust you, he’ll be controlling.
93. He says he not ready for a relationship. When he shows you who he is, believe him.
94. He says he has commitment issues. He’s telling the truth.
95. He makes you feel on edge when you’re not with him. You should feel comfortable when he’s not around.
96. He makes you feel bad for being yourself. Your quirks make you, you.
97. He makes you feel like you must compete with everyone else in the room for his attention.
98. He withholds attention as punishment. He knows you want a text but doesn’t care.
99. He makes you feel insecure for wanting attention. It’s not a crime to want to talk to the person you like.
100. He bounces from best friend to best friend as if they’re all replaceable. He’ll do it to you.
101. He plasters his social media with you but doesn’t act loving in person. He just wants the clout.
102. Says you’re their soulmate after a week. The truer it seems the more manipulative.
103. He compares you to other people in his life. Thinks his friends would never say the things you do.
104. Nothing is ever his fault, no matter how much he’s to blame.
105. He never expresses any emotion about how he feels about you. Ice cold.
106. He likes Instagram models’ pictures. Even though he knows it makes you mad.
107. He makes you feel like you need to be a detective and find what he likes on social media.
108. He brags about his girls from the past. They aren’t trophies.
109. He brags that his exes still want to sleep with him. Why does he feel the need to say that?
110. He surrounds himself with yes men. It’s a sign he doesn’t like his ideas to be challenged.
111. Your friends tell you can do better. They can see stuff you don’t. You’ve got the love goggles on.
112. He acts super into you one day then shuts down the next. Which day is the truth?
113. He isn’t generous in bed. If he only cares about himself, that’s all he cares about every second of the day.
114. He makes lots of jokes about having an open relationship. Nope!
115. He doesn’t have a lot of close friends. Why not? Why do they hate him now?
116. Threatens to hurt himself if you break up. The most manipulative move ever. Don’t cave. Call an ambulance.
117. He tells you you can’t hang out with male coworkers. While at work.
118. Makes you put more conservative clothes on before going out. You’re not his property.
119. He gets mad when you react to the hurtful words he says. If he calls you crazy, you can tell him he’s wrong.
120. He doesn’t understand your point of view, or even give an effort to.
121. He won’t watch movies you like too. If it’ll make you happy, he should compromise.
122. He makes you defend your past to him instead of living through it. You don’t have to explain that phase.
123. He compares you to his ex. Positive or negative, she should not be in his head.
124. He makes you explain basic concepts of human respect. How are you the first person to tell him this?
125. He doesn’t acknowledge his own shortcomings. Only yours.
126. He never admits if he’s wrong. This is a difficult quality to live with.
127. He acts like he’s bored of you after the chase is over. It was all about power.
128. He takes too long to date you. If it’s been a year and he can’t settle down, he may never.
129. He acts different around you than other people. Not in a good way.
130. He’s obsessed with your appearance. He shouldn’t overanalyze everything you wear and look like.
131. He’ll tell you exactly what you want to hear. A little bit too perfect.
132. He tells you how to put on less makeup. Let the woman live.
133. He spends more time working on his car than on his relationship. Yeah cars are fun, but so is sex.
134. He doesn’t support your dreams. He tells you not to try too hard.
135. He expects you to follow along with every one of his dumb ideas. Yes you can be supportive, but you shouldn’t have to stroke his ego every two minutes.
136. He makes you feel like you can’t bring up any serious issues without him ending things.
137. He makes you feel stressed about every move you make, because it may be a reason you break up.
138. He tells you he doesn’t like your friends even if you love them.
139. He expects you to pay for him all the time and never wants to split.
140. He has a lot of shallow friends he met through social media.
141. He has a “Saturday’s are for the Boys” sign in his living room.
142. He has alcohol bottles lining his countertops.
143. He has a blue-and-white plaid bedspread. I don’t make the rules.
144. He doesn’t work out but thinks his “natural athleticism” is enough to win at anything.
145. He doesn’t understand basic human emotions, like empathy. This is more a sign of a psychopath, which he could be as well.
146. He says his mother is crazy and mean. He’ll call you the same thing when you’re gone.
147. He says he loves everything you dislike about yourself, but it doesn’t feel genuine.
148. He makes you feel like you’re walking on eggshells after any fight.
149. Any fight could cause an ultimatum and breakup, rather than a conversation.
150. Doesn’t enjoy happy people. If all his friends are crazy and dramatic, he must enjoy it to some degree.
151. He expects you to know what he wants. If he doesn’t properly communicate, how will you know?
152. He can’t get enough attention. It felt like he only wanted it from you, but it’s probably from everyone.
153. He makes you feel drained when you’re apart. You don’t need his reassurance.
154. He can’t sleep well alone. If you have to go over to his place just so he can sleep at night, he needs to work that shit out himself.
155. He never wants to leave home. If he hates doing activities, you will resent him long-term.
156. He believes you’re angry at him when you’re not. He can’t understand you being understanding.
157. He doesn’t take responsibility for his actions. He makes excuses for not showing up.
158. He doesn’t shower for you. If he thinks it’s okay to act like a slob, he’s not trying to impress.
159. He tells you to text him constantly when you’re apart. Too needy!
160. He makes you leave your friends to call him when you’re out.
161. He gets crazy mood swings. One second he loves you, the next he wants to break up.
162. He makes you feel worthless without him. If all your joy comes from him, you need to leave.
163. You always find yourself rationalizing his bad behavior in your head. Stop covering for him.
164. He uses the word sauce as a verb.
165. He’s totally obsessed with hockey. Guys like that end up with beer guts and ugly beards.
166. He wears boat shoes when the closest marina is three hours away.
167. He wears pastels polos year-round. They really pop, but beware.
168. He wears tan khaki pants and shorts. No other color is ever seen.
169. He always skips leg day but has huge arms. Spaghetti and meat balls.
170. His favorite musician is Kanye. I’ma let you finish but…
171. He uses abbreviations when they aren’t necessary or normal.
172. He wears Ray Bans at night. Or when it’s cloudy out.
173. He’s in a frat. Any frat. He also abbreviates the name of his frat.
174. He uses steroids to get big. He’s too obsessed with his appearance if he’s doing that.
175. He always chooses boys night over you. If he can’t leave them now, he never will.
176. He drinks poor quality beer. Because he’s an alcoholic.
177. He shotguns beers and smashes the can against his head.
178. He takes his shirt off a party, and not because it’s getting hot in here.
179. He goes to the same bar every weekend and feels uncomfortable anywhere else.
180. He doesn’t like to hang out with you and your friends, only the boys.
181. He shows you his exe’s nudes. That’ll be you some day.
182. He rips the sleeves off his shirts to show off his shoulders and biceps.
183. He’s a division one athlete and won’t stop talking about it.
184. He wears his baseball cap backwards. He means business and will destroy your life.
185. He doesn’t like movies with a female lead. He can’t empathize.
186. He doesn’t try to empathize with issues for different races. He only thinks about himself.
187. He tells you to put on more makeup. So, he doesn’t like your natural face?
188. He uses racial or homophobic slurs to feel superior.
189. He only eats red meat and blames everything on PETA.
190. He likes his ex’s posts on social media. Knowing it makes you mad.
191. He sells drugs on the side. Drug dealers are notorious for having side chicks. Also, it’s illegal, yo.
192. He smokes cigarettes at parties. He should have self-control even when he’s drunk.
193. He shows a lack of self-control. This is also one of the first signs of a criminal.
194. He continues to post “Justice for Harambe” years after the fact.
195. He tries to be unapproachable on purpose. He has an attitude you just can’t get past.
196. He acts super into you when you talk, but then does the same thing with every other girl.
197. He has a tattoo of a wave around his arm. Total frat type.
198. He wears any type of sports jersey to the club. Who let him leave the house?
199. He answers your questions with questions. He shouldn’t get defensive for every question.
200. He doesn’t ask you about yourself. Instead, he acts like he could get any girl in the bar.
201. He gets too defensive about his upbringing. He should be able to take some light teasing.
202. He never acts interested in people he views of low caliber. He won’t talk to non-finance bros.
203. He mocks you a lot. He shouldn’t act like your younger brother.
204. He promises everything but never acts on it. He forgets even promising it.
205. He makes you feel stressed that he’s going to cheat. You should feel comfortable in his loyalty.
206. His financial status is up in the air. He takes you out to expensive dinners, then asks to borrow money.
207. He tells you he’ll pick you up at a certain time, but then comes early and expects you to be ready to go.
208. He conveniently forgets the plans you made with your friends when he wants to hang out and shows up at your door.
209. He’s a bit too close with his female friends. Especially if they’re also his exes.
210. He tells you he’ll pick you up, but then last-minute cancels and tells you to Uber.
211. He drinks and drives. A normal human would care about the safety of others.
212. He takes hours to respond. If he really likes you, he’ll respond within a reasonable time frame.
213. He asks you to go on a vacation when you barely know each other. You will get abducted. (Maybe.)
214. He makes you work too hard for his affections. If you have to track him down at a bar, he’s not the one.
215. He ghosts you for days then says he misses you. Everything is on his terms.
216. He freaks out if you want to define the relationship. Hating labels is a huge red flag.
217. You have moments where you feel like you don’t know him. His friendly nature vanishes in front of your own eyes.
218. He asks you if you’re cheating on him when you’ve only known him for a week. Like what the hell, man?
219. He goes through your phone when you’re not there to see if you’re texting your ex.
220. He talks about babies on the first or second date. No one thinks about babies that quickly.
221. He talks about moving to a new city after knowing you for a week. That’s hard to follow through with.
222. He asks you to make payments on his credit card. You’ll never see that money again
223. He shows up at your workplace with flowers to surprise you after one date. Slow it down.
224. He doesn’t like you having male friends because he assumes you’re going to cheat.
225. He wants to hook up without using protection. You’re having sex with anyone he’s had sex with.
226. He asks you to go on birth control so that he doesn’t have to wear protection. It’s your choice to put chemicals in your body.
227. He isn’t supportive if you have an accidental pregnancy. He should be there for you no matter what happens.
228. He doesn’t take rejection well. If he calls you a bitch after you reject him, he’s lost any chance of you changing your mind.
229. He gets way too obsessive after meeting once. If he texts you 100 times the next day he may be a stalker.
230. He prefers women that are half his age. If he can’t meet anyone near his age group then maybe they all just hate him. Because he’s a dick.
231. He watches too much porn, and acts like it in bed.
232. He only wants to have sex when you hang out. He should enjoy other activities with you.
233. He doesn’t take your opinions into account. Anything you know can be twisted into being wrong.
234. He’s always talking about men’s rights and how he’s being oppressed.
235. He’s rude to restaurant staff. If he can’t respect frontline workers then he won’t respect you.
236. He has a temper if you do something accidental, such as burning dinner.
237. He doesn’t know when to stop teasing you. If you tell him a joke is too much, he should stop.
238. His practical jokes are dangerous. Putting others in danger isn’t funny.
239. He has double standards for how you should act. He can go out drinking with his friends, but you can’t.
240. He only talks about important subjects over text. This way, he can avoid your reaction.
241. He pushes things off for months on end. If you really want to go to that restaurant, he should want to too.
242. He limits how short your shorts should be. He’s not the only person who gets to see your legs.
243. He never posts about you on social media. He probably doesn’t want other people to see he’s taken.
244. He doesn’t speak up for himself around his friends. If he gets pushed around too much, he doesn’t know how to surround himself with good people.
245. He’s too obsessed with his mom. Being caring is one thing but telling her all your drama is another.
246. He’s stubborn about everything. Everyone should be open to learning and maybe changing their mind.
247. He sends the same message to you and all your friends. Some men don’t think women talk for some reason.
248. He likes all your photos on social media. Anyone with that much confidence does that to every girl he sees.
249. He gets arrested on frequent basis. Good people don’t usually end up in jail.
250. He compliments you way too much. You should be able to have a conversation without needing compliment fillers.
251. He calls himself a “nice guy.” If he has to say it, it’s probably false.
252. He searches through the school directory to find your name to add you on social media. He should talk to you in person.
253. He always has a perfect answer no matter the situation. He makes you doubt your gut feeling.
254. He gets mad at you for asking valid questions. He shouldn’t get angry if it’s a real concern.
255. He compares you to his mother or sister. That’s some creepy Freud stuff.
256. He shows up to the bar you’re at despite telling him it’s a girl’s night. He can’t stand you out without him.
257. He shows up at your door when you tell him you need a night alone.
258. He knows what time the liquor store opens.
259. He doesn’t make sure you get home safe. Even a simple text is enough.
260. He hates girls putting him in the friendzone, as if they’re not allowed to just want friendship.
261. He’s obsessed with his hair, to the point where it takes him longer to do his than it does to do yours.
262. He’s feels like he has you completely figured out after one date.
263. He has no female friends. Only the boys. If he can’t be friends with girls, he’s probably slightly misogynistic.
264. He tells your parents stuff about you. That’s overstepping boundaries to try to control you.
265. He gets angry that you’re going on dates with other guys after one date. Way too possessive.
266. He makes fun of people with disabilities. Shows he has no compassion for people.
267. He’s too down for bro code. If he’ll choose his bros over you no matter what, that’s an issue.
268. He feels entitled to everything in life, including you. He doesn’t feel like he needs to work for it.
269. He feels like his needs are met but yours aren’t. You give everything while he just takes.
270. Your brain feels like it’s right, but your gut tells you it’s wrong. Women have great instincts for bad behavior, we just ignore them.
271. He rushes to control you despite you giving no signs of disrespect of infidelity.
272. He’s narcissistic. If he can’t go past a mirror without staring, keep looking.
273. His actions are always unpredictable. You feel like you don’t know if he’ll show up when he says.
274. He makes you cover up his behavior for your friends. They look at you like you know better, and you do.
275. He’s been to jail but you feel like he’s lying about why.
276. Everyone in your family disproves of him. It’s possible they’re wrong, but it’s more likely you’re lovestruck.
277. He’s a drug addict. Just because they’re called party drugs doesn’t mean they’re not dangerous.
278. He still talks to his ex every day. If he can’t get over her and cut off contact, he may cheat.
279. He calls you on the phone everyday even if you tell him you’d rather text. This is not respecting boundaries.
280. He doesn’t treat his friends well. Anyone with a caring soul will treat their friends nicely as well as you.
281. He doesn’t brush his teeth. Ig he doesn’t care about oral hygiene for you, get out.
282. He feels embarrassed of your race or religion. He should be proud no matter how religious his family is.
283. He speaks too smoothly. If he never gets nervous around you, it’s trouble.
284. He doesn’t make any effort to wear nice clothes to semi-fancy events. Hoodies at a nice restaurant? Cya later.
285. He only gets bottle service when he goes to the bar. Even if he’s loaded, this shows he needs to show it off.
286. He only takes you on one date, then you just chill at home for the rest of the hangouts. He wants to skip the courting faze.
287. He doesn’t like trying new things and is only comfortable going places near his house.
288. He tricks you into going back to his place. Says he has a puppy, and you show up and it’s a stuffed animal.
289. He seems disinterested after sex. It seems like that’s all he wanted the whole time.
290. He won’t cuddle when you sleep. At least at the beginning, that intimacy is important.
291. He cancels last minute on Friday or Saturday night. He doesn’t have food poisoning, ladies. He found something better to do.
292. He always claims he wants to hang out but never tries to ask you.
293. He avoids the question when you ask if he’s hanging out with other people.
294. When you meet his friends, they have no idea who you are. So he definitely hasn’t been mentioning you.
295. He over explains why he can’t hang out as if he’s covering up for something.
296. He doesn’t care if other girls flirt with him in front of you.
297. If he runs into acquaintances at a party, he doesn’t introduce you.
298. He takes his phone into the bathroom when he showers (so that you can’t see who’s texting him.)
299. His friends avoid eye contact when you’re around, because they know he’s hooking up with other girls.
300. He tells you his female friend is platonic, but turns off his phone when he hangs out with her.
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