How Self-Care Culture Can Make You Feel Worse
We’re constantly told to take care of ourselves: light a candle, run a bath, do a face mask, drink matcha, unfollow toxic people, journal, breathe. In theory, it’s empowering. In practice? Sometimes it feels like just one more thing you’re failing at.
Welcome to the paradox of modern self-care.
What started as a radical act of self-preservation—especially in marginalized communities—has been co-opted into a multi-billion-dollar industry full of expensive routines, aesthetic pressure, and thinly veiled consumerism. And for a lot of people, self-care culture doesn’t soothe stress—it adds to it.
🧼 When Self-Care Becomes a Chore
Instead of helping you recover, self-care can start to feel like a checklist:
Did I meditate today?
Am I drinking enough chlorophyll water?
Should I be oil cleansing or dry brushing?
When self-care becomes performative or prescriptive, it loses its restorative power. You’re no longer resting—you’re optimizing. And that’s just more pressure.
🛍️ Capitalism Has Entered the Chat
Modern self-care is often sold as a product: skincare routines, $200 yoga mats, wellness retreats, artisanal teas. It’s less about how you feel and more about how it looks on Instagram.
This creates two problems:
It ties your wellbeing to your spending power.
It implies that peace, balance, and healing can be bought.
Spoiler: They can’t.
📉 Self-Care Guilt Is Real
If you’re burned out, anxious, or depressed, self-care routines can feel inaccessible—or even guilt-inducing.
“Why can’t I just take a bubble bath and feel better?”
“I should be journaling, but I’m too tired.”
“Everyone else is thriving with their vision boards and clean girl aesthetics. What’s wrong with me?”
When self-care becomes a competition or moral obligation, it stops being caring. It becomes self-criticism in disguise.
🧠 Real Self-Care Looks Different
Sometimes real self-care is:
Turning off your phone, not journaling in a linen-bound notebook
Eating a frozen pizza instead of cooking a macro-balanced bowl
Saying no to plans without needing a productivity excuse
Doing less, not more
Self-care should fit your life—not the other way around.
❤️ Self-Care, Not Self-Pressure
True self-care isn’t about routines, aesthetics, or curated calm—it’s about honesty, boundaries, and rest. It’s not always pretty. It doesn’t always look good on social media. But it should feel like relief, not another job.
If your self-care makes you feel worse, it’s okay to throw out the checklist. Start small. Start real. And remember: you don’t have to earn rest.
