How To Get Your Boyfriend To Stop Texting Other Girls (Because Apparently That Needs Explaining)
Welcome to modern dating, where loyalty is optional, communication is a lost language, and you're one push notification away from a full-blown identity crisis.
Remember when being someone’s girlfriend meant you were their person — their ride or die? Now it means you’re part of a rotation, like a scheduled maintenance reminder he might get around to if he’s not too busy sending “wyd?” to women named Amber-with-three-r’s.
Let’s not pretend this is normal. It’s not. You shouldn't have to Google how to make your boyfriend stop virtually flirting with the entire female population like he’s trying to win a community outreach award in emotional infidelity.
But you did Google it. So here we are. Let’s fix this.
Step 1: Confirm He's Actually Trash, Not Just Sloppy
Before you emotionally spiral into a late-night breakdown with Adele playing softly in the background, make sure he’s actually guilty.
Here’s how to differentiate between texting other girls and being a poorly communicative moron (there is a difference, tragically):
Does he hide his phone like it's housing nuclear codes?
Are his texts suddenly full of LOLs he never sends you?
Does he panic every time you glance at the home screen?
Let’s not confuse casual messages with cheating — but if he’s acting like the FBI is watching him every time you walk in, guess what? He’s not texting about fantasy football.
And if your gut feels off? Trust it. It’s not being “crazy.” It’s being observant in a world where “loyalty” is apparently a dying art form.
Step 2: Talk To Him Like He’s a Grown Man (Even If He Isn't One)
You’d think this would be easy. You’d think “Hey, I don’t like it when you talk to other women like you’re auditioning for The Bachelor” would be a pretty basic request.
But alas, here comes the fun part: explaining respect to a man who claims to love you but types “you up?” at 1:34am to his “friend.”
Try this:
“I’ve noticed you’re texting other girls often, and it makes me uncomfortable. I want to be in a relationship where I feel safe, valued, and respected.”
If he listens, you might have something worth salvaging.
If he laughs, gaslights, or calls you insecure, congratulations — you’re dating a walking iMessage thread in human form. Next.
Step 3: Set Real Boundaries (Because You're Not a Doormat with Wi-Fi)
This is not where you politely ask him to stop. This is where you explain what you will and won’t accept.
“I’m not okay with you giving emotional energy to other girls. If this relationship means anything to you, you’ll choose to respect it.”
And no, “but I’ve known her for years” is not a valid loophole.
You’re not banning him from speaking to women. You’re asking him to not flirt, overshare, or maintain “just friends” connections that reek of emotional backup plan.
Because let’s be honest — nobody’s texting “you looked good today” to their platonic friends unless they’re also texting you, “I enjoy being single, but with consequences.”
Step 4: Watch His Actions (Because Words Are Cheap and He's On a Budget)
Here’s the deal:
Good boyfriends don’t need to be reminded how to behave.
They just do. You won’t have to put him on an invisible leash. You won’t have to monitor his DMs like an underpaid intern. He’ll want to make you feel secure.
What does changed behavior look like?
He opens up his phone around you.
He stops responding to girls who clearly don’t have “just friend” intentions.
He checks in before you even bring it up.
What does a red flag wrapped in cologne look like?
“You’re being dramatic.”
“It’s not that serious.”
“Why are you always trying to control me?”
(Translation: “I want the benefits of being single without the inconvenience of actually being single.”)
Step 5: Ask Yourself the Million-Dollar Question: Why Am I Still Here?
Seriously. Why?
If the answer is “Because I love him” — okay. But what else?
Does he lift you up, or drain you?
Do you feel seen, or just tolerated?
Does he make you laugh, or just… tired?
You can’t fix someone who doesn’t see a problem. And if he thinks talking to other girls while dating you is normal, then he’s the problem.
Spoiler: You’re not his therapist. You’re not his mother. You’re not his moral compass. You’re his girlfriend — not a rehab center for emotionally stunted frat boys in disguise.
Step 6: Walk Away If You Have To (And Do It Like You Mean It)
If he keeps doing it — leave.
Not dramatically. Not with a bunch of sad quotes on your Instagram story. Quietly. Powerfully. Block if needed. Unfollow. Delete the “wyd” thread.
And when he inevitably texts you six weeks later with “hey u” like nothing happened — you ignore it. Because you’ve moved on to someone who understands that “boyfriend” doesn’t mean “DMs open 24/7.”
And if you haven’t found that guy yet? Still better than babysitting a man-child with a wandering thumbs problem.
You’re Not Overreacting — You’re Just Done Settling
If someone’s texting other girls while dating you, the issue is not your self-esteem. It’s not your “trust issues.” It’s him.
You’re allowed to expect loyalty. You’re allowed to say, “This isn’t enough for me.” You’re allowed to walk away from someone who thinks exclusivity is just a suggestion.
You’re not asking for a lot.
You’re asking not to be the emotional equivalent of “leave on read.”
You are the girlfriend. Not the backup plan. Not the second option. Not the free therapy provider while he emotionally entertains strangers with hearts in their bio.
If he can’t figure that out?
Let the next girl he texts at midnight deal with that problem.
