How To Start Going To The Gym When You’ve Never Been (Without Embarrassing Yourself Or Dying)
Let’s get one thing straight: Nobody wants to be the new person at the gym. Nobody dreams of fumbling with machines like a medieval peasant encountering plumbing for the first time.
But here you are. Bold. Ambitious. Slightly terrified.
Maybe you want to get stronger. Maybe you want to lose weight. Maybe you’re just tired of getting winded going up stairs like a Victorian orphan.
Whatever your reason — you’re already ahead of everyone sitting on their couch Googling “Do I have to exercise tho.”
Here’s exactly how to start going to the gym — when you’ve never set foot in one.
Step 1: Accept The Truth — Nobody Cares About You (In A Good Way)
Repeat after me: Nobody at the gym cares what I’m doing.
They don’t. They really don’t.
That shredded guy deadlifting a small car? He’s too busy flexing in the mirror.
That girl on the StairMaster for 45 minutes? She’s watching reality TV on mute.
You are not the main character in their gym story. You are invisible. It’s glorious.
Embarrassed to pick up tiny dumbbells? Don’t be.
Embarrassed you don’t know how to adjust the seat on a machine? Nobody’s watching.
(Except maybe one old man, but that’s legally required in all gyms.)
Step 2: Get The Right Gear (Translation: Clothes That Don't Betray You)
Look, nobody expects you to roll in wearing $300 matching workout sets unless you're planning on becoming an influencer mid-squat.
But please, for the love of all that is breathable:
Wear moisture-wicking clothes (because sweating like a swamp monster happens faster than you think).
Wear supportive shoes (this is not the time for your crusty Converse).
Bring headphones (so you can pretend you're too busy listening to music to die of embarrassment).
Bonus Tip: Bring water. Yes, I’m looking at you. Hydration is not a suggestion.
Step 3: Have A Plan (Wandering Aimlessly Builds Character — Not Muscle)
The biggest rookie mistake? Walking in like you're lost in IKEA.
Avoid the "newbie shuffle" by planning exactly what you’ll do before you get there.
Easy Beginner Plan:
Warm-up: 5-10 minutes on the treadmill (walking is fine — this isn’t the Olympics)
Strength Training: Pick 5 machines (upper and lower body mix)
2-3 sets of 10-12 reps on each
Cooldown: Stretch or light cardio
Congratulations — that's a full workout.
Look at you, a functional gym human.
Step 4: Start Small (Your Muscles Will Hate You Later Anyway)
Spoiler: You don’t need to “go hard” on Day 1.
Nobody wins a prize for doing too much too fast — unless the prize is aching so bad you have to walk like a T-Rex for three days.
Start light. Focus on form. Pick weights that feel easy-ish to lift with control.
The goal isn’t to impress strangers who don’t know you.
The goal is to come back tomorrow.
Step 5: Learn Basic Gym Etiquette (So People Don’t Secretly Hate You)
Ah yes — the unwritten rules of Gym Culture. Study these like ancient scripture.
Golden Rules:
Wipe down equipment after use (no one wants your elbow sweat).
Re-rack your weights (you’re not royalty).
Don’t hog machines scrolling on your phone (this isn’t a coffee shop).
Keep grunting to a socially acceptable volume (nobody wants to hear your birthing sounds).
Respect personal space (if you can smell them, you’re too close).
Follow these, and you’ll be welcomed like a civilized gym citizen.
Step 6: Track Progress (Because Results Are Better Than Vibes)
Nothing kills motivation faster than working hard for weeks and feeling like nothing’s changing.
Track your workouts.
Write down what exercises you did.
Track your weights and reps.
Take progress pics (yes, even if you hate it — future you will thank you).
Seeing small wins adds fuel to the fire. Plus, it helps you avoid that awkward phase where every workout feels the same because you don’t remember what you lifted last time.
Step 7: Find Your Gym Personality (You Will Become Someone)
Every gym goer evolves into a certain type. Let’s explore your potential destiny.
Possible Gym Evolutions:
The Podcast Walker — Lives on the treadmill. Knows way too much about serial killers.
The Machines-Only Bandit — Will not touch free weights until absolutely forced.
The Group Class Hero — Schedules life around Zumba like it’s a paid job.
The Hoodie Lifter — Headphones on, world off, vaguely intimidating but nice.
Find your groove. Be proud of it.
Step 8: Show Up Consistently (Shocking Advice, I Know)
The real gym secret nobody tells you?
Consistency beats talent. Every time.
The people with muscles didn’t wake up one day looking like Greek statues. They just... kept showing up.
Even when it sucked.
Even when they didn’t feel motivated.
Even when they’d rather be at home eating nachos (relatable).
Show up. Keep going. Progress will punch you in the face when you least expect it.
Final Thoughts: The Hardest Part Is Starting — The Rest Is Just Showing Up
If you’ve read this far, congrats — you’re already ahead of 99% of people.
The gym can feel scary. Intimidating. Overwhelming.
But the secret nobody tells you?
Everybody started somewhere.
Everybody had a Day 1 where they didn’t know what the hell they were doing.
Nobody popped out of the womb doing deadlifts.
You’re doing something for you — your health, your strength, your future self.
That’s brave. That’s powerful. That’s hot.
Get in there. Mess up. Learn. Laugh at yourself.
And then do it again.
Because the gym doesn’t care if you’re perfect.
It only cares if you keep showing up.
