Scientists Disagree on What Day is the Middle of January

The scientific community has announced that they cannot agree on what day constitutes the middle of January.

The debate has created a divide among the fractured society with some researchers claiming that the midpoint falls on the 15th, while others insist it is the 16th.

The controversy began when a group of scientists from the University of January Studies published a paper stating that the middle of the month fell on the 15th. However, their colleagues at the Institute of January Research disputed this claim, arguing that the true midpoint was actually the 16th.

Both sides have presented evidence to support their respective positions, with the University of January Studies team citing lunar cycles and the rotation of the Earth, while the Institute of January Research team points to historical calendars and the alignment of the stars.

The debate has caused a stir in the scientific community, with many researchers taking sides and passionately defending their chosen mid-January date. Some have even gone so far as to call for a "January Summit" in Bedminster, New Jersey to resolve the issue once and for all.

“Why Bedminster?” said Victor Müller, researcher at the National Institute of Standards and Technology. “Because time seems to work differently there. It’s like country time but worse. You know country time? People say they’ll stop in around noon and then they don’t get there until four. Nobody cares because there’s nothing to do out there anyway. That’s Bedminster. It’s where time goes to die.”

The public, meanwhile, seems largely confused by the whole affair. "I had no idea that anyone even cared about the middle of January," said librarian Tess Watts. "I just thought it was one of those months that nobody really pays attention to."

“I don't know what these nerds are talking about, the middle of January is closer to the 25th,” said a biotech executive who asked to remain anonymous. “That's the day that when the Christmas cookies are gone and the gym is finally rid of those half-assed New Year’s resolution types. That's when the real work begins. Middle of January, baby. Let’s effing go.”

Despite the ongoing disagreement, one thing is clear: January will never be the same again. Whether it's the 15th or the 16th, one thing is for sure - scientists will continue to argue over the middle of January for years to come. Thanks for reading and don’t forget to follow us on Twitter.