Why You Shouldn’t Hate Valentine’s Day: Whether You’re in a Relationship or Single
Valentine's Day is often not all it's cracked up to be. It's expensive, cheesy, and was probably only created to get people to buy stuff. Since February is a slow month for business after Christmas, marketers needed another holiday for people to celebrate. While this can seem disingenuous, we're going to discuss the ways Valentine's Day is actually a blessing in disguise. That is, if you do it right.
When you first fall in love, it's amazing. Your entire being yearns to be with them at all times. You're giddy first thing in the morning and feel butterflies when they kiss you. Anything else that goes wrong in your life can be put out of your mind with one hug from them. However, eventually, things settle. You're still excited to spend time with them, and are sad when they're not around, but there's less of a thrill to it. You know each other through and through, so there's not as many surprises. They become your safety net and someone you can always rely on. The love is still there, but it’s a bit different. You feel more like husband and wife than boyfriend and girlfriend. A calm, comforting love. While this comes with its own perks, sentimental gifts are a great way to keep the adventure alive in your hearts. This is why Valentine’s Day can be celebrated in an even better way, without contributing to the marketing agenda. Give sentimental gifts, rather than expensive ones, and your partner will thank you for it.
Sentimental gifts are those which express emotion and show how much you care for one another, rather than how much money you’ve spent. Writing a love letter, making a scrapbook, or creating a song are all examples of personalized sentimental gifts. The gifts that are pushed by Valentine’s Day advertisements are jewelry, flowers, chocolates, purses, shoes, clothes, and other material items. These items can show love, but they won’t create the same bond as a sentimental gift. This of course depends on your partner’s love language. Some people’s love language is gifts, but it doesn’t often mean gifts in the way you’d think. People who like gifts like the idea that someone was in a store and thought about them enough to want to buy them something. It doesn’t matter if it’s big or small. It could just be a coffee on the way home or a keychain from the dollar store. The knowledge that someone was browsing and saw something that made them think of you, and that they chose to buy it for you, gives them joy. It’s not about the superficial items, it’s about the thought process behind them. If their love language is gifts, they’ll love a sentimental present, but will also love material ones. If their love language isn’t gifts, it’s even more important for them to be sentimental, because they won’t value material ones as much. This is why we should move towards sentimental gifts. They can change the way we feel about Valentine’s Day, and may even encourage a second and third Valentine’s Day.
Valentine’s Day doesn’t need to be solely for romantic love. If you find yourself thinking about other people and how much you love them, tell them. Even if they’re your friend. Wouldn’t you want to know when someone thinks that about you? If the answer is yes, you should send them a message of exactly how great you think they are. It will make their day, guaranteed. It relates to the saying, “Treat others how you’d want to be treated.” Usually this saying is used to prevent people from treating others poorly. But, it can also be used to encourage people to tell their friends and family what they love about them. It costs nothing to send a message, except perhaps your pride since you’re putting yourself out there. Your friends will appreciate it even if they aren’t usually sentimental. One person has to make the first move, so why not let it be you? If it’ll put a smile on someone’s face, it’s usually worth it. As long as you’re not a stalker or have previously professed your love and it was unrequited. This has to be added because this is not encouragement for that. Tell your friends, family, and loved ones how much you care about them as a sentimental gift, and they’ll appreciate you for it.
Now, let’s say your partner doesn’t want to celebrate Valentine’s Day for these reasons, but you do. First of all, if you want flowers, they can find cheap flowers. Second of all, this is why it should be thought of as more of a sentimental holiday, rather than one where you spend all your money. Further, the places benefitting from Valentine’s Day are usually family-owned businesses. Your local restaurants and florists. While this is still spending money, it’s often not going to big monopolized businesses. Therefore, the actual money you’re spending could be going to local places, it’s all your choice. The gifts you buy could be from local gift shops, potteries or wineries. Valentine’s Day is only supporting big business if you let it.
If you’re deciding not to celebrate Valentine’s Day to support the single people around you, you’re being unkind to yourself. While it’s great to have solidarity, there should be at least one day a year dedicated to your partner. Single parties are great for single people, but your relationship needs work as well. Don’t sacrifice working on your partnership for this one day to support your friends. You can support your friends many other days in the year. Any friend who would get angry at you for spending time with your significant other on Valentine’s Day is a bitter, unsupportive friend.
If you happen to be single on Valentine’s Day, fear not. You can still appreciate other people’s love. It can take a while to not be upset about it, but with the right mindset, it can happen. Being in love is a privilege, and if you don’t have it right now, there’s no need to stress. Being happy for those in love is a skill that takes practice and understanding of one’s self. If you’re unhappy with your love life, don’t take it out on the people in love. If you’re hating on them for public displays of affection, it’s probably jealousy. Once you realize you can be happy on your own, no couples can hurt you on Valentine’s Day. It will often take relationship experience to know you’d rather be alone than with the wrong person. Always remember, you don’t know what’s happening inside people’s relationships. Even if they seem like the perfect couple with no problems, you never know what’s going on at home.
Even if you know a couple very well, don’t compare yourself to them. Comparison is the thief of joy, as they say. They could be jealous of you for all your accomplishments, but you’d never know. There will always be someone smarter, funnier, prettier, and more in love than you. You can’t let comparisons stop you from enjoying your life. These comparisons could push you into something unhappy, just for a holiday’s sake. A valentine isn’t worth it.
This is where the famous “cuffing season” comes in. Cuffing season is when people get together for the winter holidays to have someone to spend it with. Not because they would normally get together with that person, but just to have anyone there. This is what can happen for Valentine’s Day. People, especially women, are deemed inadequate if they can’t find a date on Valentine’s Day, or any of the winter holidays for that matter. Their parents will always ask where their date is when they’re sitting at dinner. Since women have historically only shown value in terms of love, this continues the same trend. These feelings create a need for a date on Valentine’s Day, when you really don’t need one. It’s an amazing excuse for those in a relationship, but there’s no need to be jealous. Both being in a relationship and being single have benefits. Neither is better or worse.
On Valentine’s Day, there is pressure for those in a relationship to spend a lot of money on their love, and for those who are single to feel bad about themselves. Both of these are false. Valentine’s Day can be a great excuse for those in a relationship to spoil their significant other with sentimental gifts, rather than expensive ones. It doesn’t have to be a money driven holiday. It can be if you like it that way, but sentimental gifts can be even better. If you’re single, there’s no need to fret. You can be on a different journey at this time in your life. There is no pressure to be in a relationship, so just enjoy being single. If you get married, you may even wonder why you hated the alone time in the first place. So, be happy with where you are. Valentine’s Day isn’t an awful holiday, it’s what you make it.
