Jokes about 2020 – Fun with Quarantine and Covid-19

When they asked me to write some jokes about 2020, I said okay. I will do that.

This year has been interesting. We lost Kobe, the Brooks Brothers, and a good friend of mine, J. Crew.

While I am unsure where to go anymore to purchase fashionable clothing, or who to consult on matters of basketball, my dog Truman still has his health. Yesterday we learned a new trick. It’s called: “Fetch the potato-flavored drink from inside the freezer without trying to eat the frozen salmon.”

Here are some jokes.

Please clap.

1.  Why did the KGB agent cross the road? To arrest the chicken for failing to wear a mask.

2. Why did the Soviet Union break up? The hammer wanted to socially distance from the sick-le.

3. Why did the shady real estate deal fall through? There wasn’t any toilet paper available to write the contract on.

4. Grandmother always said, “Igor, you will never be successful by sitting on couch at home all day.” But now work is specifically requesting I do this. Who is laughing now, old woman? Igor is laughing now. Go train another polar bear.

5. Why did the political officer not realize she was putting on weight? She was wearing pajamas to work.

6. Why did the happily married couple break up? They quarantined together in a bachelor apartment.

7. Why did the bank robber have a great year in 2020? It was 10 months of inside jobs.

8. Why does Mr. 2020 make so much money on YouTube? He’s great at making content go viral.

9. Why did the writer spend 12 hours cleaning his house? He didn’t feel like working.

10. What do you call it when you don’t have to see your boss for 10 months? Socially blisstance.

11. Why did the man who refused to wear a mask get a job at a factory that made peanut butter and mayonnaise sandwiches? He liked spreading things.

12. When did people realize that Covid-19 was serious? When Canada closed their borders.

13. What did little Boris ask for for his birthday? To invite more than four people.

14. Why did the angry old man get upset at lockdown? People stopped walking his lawn.